ok 2 day never come le ! cuz no time at all no time ta even sleep ok ! i onli gt 1 thing to sae now im freaking tired so i going to keep this post as short and sae all i want to and go to sleep ! ok firstly u all noe i will comment on de day DB fest on sat ! before tat i realli nid ta apologise to de whole team ! ok before tat day on fri i came home darn late bout 3 plus in de morning den never sleep well or nt enough sleep ba ! realli veri sry ! but as i sae in de previous post i realli cant neglect my frenz but come to tink of it now ! i realli nid ta make a decision and i tink it will be NYDB ! i dunno y la but i onli noe i cannot lose my position in de team tats all and to train hard ! i noe lot of things had to be sacrifice but i try to as much as i can ! and ty to my frenz who drive me home la ! i noe maybe i should nt like ask u drive me home from dhoby den u all go out again ! but seriously ty and understand la ! ok so due to nt enough sleep ! de set i row tat day seriously SUX ! 1st time i realli slip my paddle and it nearly fell off my hand ! how close can tat be ! i tried to keep my composure but i realli cant focus on tat day maybe no energy i dunno ? i was giving my best but more of like became nt concentrating and jus ziam hard on de water rowing ! ok i noe on my part i sux la ! but i tried to call hard 1o tat day and found i gt no voice ! sry ikhtia let u down ! i noe i should haf motivate de boat up but tat day i seriously cant ! ok 1st thing ! when ah hee sae de starting line up everyone was going ok we are de underdogs we are de lousier rower ! dey are jus letting us row for de sake of rowing and we lose for sure ! tat wats i hear wat a lot of u seriously i myself noe tat we are de weaker ones but tat doesnt mean we cant win ok ! i tried to smotivate u guys back but it was realli hard ! even zh elvis felt demoralise ! wat to be done ! ok den later elvis spoke and said tat he been tinking whole day but we shouldnt be tinking bout whether we are de weakers ones but to row our best ! ok i thought tat help but it prove otherwise ! air rowing ! conducted by ikhtia and yi yang ! ikhtia give command response low ! or maybe whole of back pack nt responding ? i felt quite piss seriously ! den ppl call hard 1o long 1o or up ! nt much response ! moral SUPER low ! no one seem to haf hope of even winning at all ! all seem to giving up ! i saw seniors shaking their head and yi yang comment tat from de 4th pair onwards all look lethargic including me ! ok before going down to boat ikhtia ask me try to call and motivate de team if i can ! after wat he said im willingly to try my best ! in de boat warm up row ; power 1o still nt bad ! try starts 1o 1o ok ! but seriously it was average compared to those times we can do real gud ones ! no aggressiveness no desire to win ! guys where de fuck are all hunger ! im proud of u guys in de nationals coming in so close with de seniors but wat nw ! DON LET THIS BE AN ON OFF THING ! IT SHOULD BE IN OUR MIND ALL DE TIME ! DE HUNGER AND DESIRE TO WIN AND BEAT OTHERS ! ok in de boat i tried to call for hard 1o response low and we were lagging ! seriously i felt like giving up at a point after i slip but i told myself this is nt going to be it ! i pick myself back and row hard again ! calling for up 1o% by yiyang i realli give it my all ! but i realli don feel de whole boat surging ! izzit cuz everyone nt putting in their best ! SERIOUSLY TINK BOUT IT ! i noe i haf myy wrong in tat race set but im reflecting ! ARE ALL OF U DOING DE SAME ! when i came up i felt like SHIT TOTALLY SHIT ! never feel so bad before ! i was like wtf ! i noe bout of it was my fault but de whole boat also like nt pushing and CMON debrief still gt ppl can laugh talk ! WTF WAS TAT ! CMON WE LOST AND NT EVEN FEELING SAD OR BAD ! still can laugh ! WA WELL DONE MAN ! FUCK IT LA ! if next time this was going to happen ! no matter how close i am to u ! i sure go up to ur face and gan u sia ! after tat felt more piss ! kept tinking ! shook my head when i walk past BLACK ! GUYS SERIOUSLY WTF WAS TAT ! and i feel tat i can onli sae it here ! but wat i can sae is ! i cant sae all this out in front of de team ! even de exco are like nt so truthful and wat if i sae this ! everyone will hate me like FUCK ? so i realli dunno watta do ! exco i seriously hope u all haf plan sth tat will help de team ! nt tat u all are doing bad or wat but nth much is done ! establishing ur power and position in de team is one thing ! helping de team up as one i tink is de most impt ! ALL OF US SERIOUSLY NEED TO TINK BOUT IT ! WHETHER WE BELONG TO DE TEAM ! WHETHER WE DESERVE TO WEAR DE BAILONG SHIRT ON DE RACE DAY ! maybe wat i sae is realli harsh ! but i realli hope u guys can tink bout it ! im clear of wat i want nw ! im willingly to sacrifice maybe nt straight but slowly ! no use having pt every morning if our team haf prob itself and teammate nt even sure whether dey belong to de team or willingly to push for de team ! tink bout it guys ! i tink i said too much ! and i noe i haf nt much power in de team also ! so jus tink bout it !
wei xing
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